I Have a Man's Brain, and I Want My Brain Back!

That's what my dad told me last night...that I have a male brain now, and he may have a point. No, it's not because I am a sports fanatic; he's much too evolved to think something like that! And no, I have not suddenly become interested in looking at women in skimpy little swimsuits. Nor do I have the need to always be right and I don't have an aversion to asking for directions. So why do I agree?

Let's take a step back first. After my concussion/mild traumatic brain injury in 2007, I noticed a lot of things changing, including the way I cognitively processed things. I had lost the ability that women have, to truly multi-task effectively. I always used to work on the computer while watching TV and taking work phone calls, and was able to focus on all activities at once (had I not been able to do this, it's possible I never would've had time for any TV shows, or heaven forbid, sports!) Suddenly, I was having trouble doing just one of those activities at a time, let alone more than one. Unfortunately, I had not gained the skill men have, to completely hone in on something and be able to ignore everything around them (like we all know men can do when their wives are asking them to take out the garbage). So I have been sort of stuck in limbo.

However, without me realizing it, I had acquired another "talent" that men seem to have, which I hadn't realized until dad said I had a man's brain now. When I focus on some thought specifically, I don't seem to see that other things around it that would normally make sense. Now I realize I am making no sense either and I may be confusing my brain too much to finish this blog, so let me try another way of explaining it.

Since the day Brett Favre signed with the Vikings, if you had asked me "What date do the Vikings play at Lambeau field?" I would've been able to answer "November 1st" without much thinking required. However, if you had said to me, "Is anything happening on November 1st?" I would've had no idea. (According to the neuropsych tests I had to take, this has to do with being able to recall, but not retrieve, but a blog about a female having a man's brain sounds more interesting than one about recall vs. retrieval...) So if I am focused on a specific thing, I can explain it, but I often can't get that information from wherever it is hiding in my brain, if that is not what is being discussed. Another example would be when I am asked what things I have trouble with cognitively since the brain injury. It is hard for me to list things out; I can never think of things (other than remembering the fact that I have a problem when I need to think of things). But if I am asked specific questions such as "Do you have problems processing information?" or "Do you have loss of long term memory?" I could answer yes & no respectively.

This brings me to the overall point of this whole boring and chaotic stream of thought. Yesterday, I was discussing sports, and was giving the countdown to College Basketball's March Madness & Selection Sunday, knowing that March Madness started on Thursday, March 18, and Selection Sunday would always be four days earlier. But my dumb (male?) brain didn't associate anything else that I knew was happening during that same time, because that was not what I was specifically writing/thinking about. So if you were to ask me what day my sister is getting married, I could tell you it's March 14, but if I am thinking about college basketball events during that week, I don't think of anything else that is at the same time (like cousin Nate's birthday on March 15). This is what my dad said was like a male brain; the ability to focus on something singular like that, without seeing other things nearby, which are not directly connected to my original thought. While I didn't get the male ability to focus enough to block out people talking, or a TV in the background, apparently I now have that kind of focus within my thoughts.

So let's try this portion of yesterday's blog again...Speaking of countdowns, it is 134 days until the beginning of March Madness, which means it is 130 days until Selection Sunday, the present-opening "Christmas" of sports, and more importantly, 130 days until my little sister is getting married, when I will have the honor of standing next to her to show my support and love! (And all of this is indication that she'll need that support since she is marrying someone with a biologically male brain...)

Disclaimer: No men were injured in the writing of this blog. If you are a man and feel that this represents you, it is purely coincidence, and if you are a man and feel this is false and disparaging of you, blame my dad, since thankfully, I don't really have a man's brain, so I had to take his word on this! Now this damaged (and worn out) brain of mine needs to go rest for a long time.